There have been many times in my life where I was depressed, angry, or just miserable. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember. Even when life is great, I find myself anxious. As I have journeyed through difficult seasons in my life, I have learned to manage my symptoms and have overcome them.

Anxiety is defined as “intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations.” I used to worry about everything. I would stress about conversions that had not happened yet, the health of my children, my health, my parent’s health, and all sorts of things that were usually only possible not real. It disrupted my sleep, I ate for comfort, I cried, I would refuse to leave the house at times. I was a real mess.

After the loss of our daughter, I sought help from a counselor. She helped me work through my past issues with spousal abuse, my anxiety, and my grief from the loss of my daughter and also others. I learned that I never really coped with anything before. I had just gotten really good at bottling it all up. Which is detrimental to your emotional and physical health.

While in this season of loss I took leave from nursing, I prayed a lot, and I found yoga. For me, yoga helped to soothe the physical and emotional pain brought on by depression. I found an instructor in my area then went on to train as an instructor. I was a yoga instructor for about a year when inner ear issues began preventing me from enjoying my practice.

I have since been able to enjoy yoga again as a student, and I have also begun exercising in a variety of other ways. As I have said before, I started my fitness journey as a means to cope with depression and anxiety. This year I also began reading and listening to personal development books and podcasts. I have found so much worth in the information these people have put out into the world.

My current favorite author/motivator is Rachel Hollis. After reading her blockbuster book, Girl, Wash Your Face, I found myself renewed. I have been on an educational journey for the past 2 years. It was shortly after graduating with my Bachelor of Science in Nursing and the sudden loss of my brother in law that I was introduced to Rachel’s book. I was at a very low point. I was burnt out from being a full-time wife, mother, nurse, and student for the past 2 years. I was contemplating delaying my application to grad school. I had decided early in the year to take the summer off from school. I needed a few months to relax, but at this point, I was thinking about a further postponement.

Through the wisdom in Rachel’s book and the podcasts that I have found by following her, I am proud to say I am enrolled in a Master’s program. Not only have I chosen to keep my original education plan, but I have also found the motivation to get myself back on track with my fitness and health goals. I am back to working out at least 30 minutes a day, drinking all the water, and eating all the veggies.

We all have moments in life that are trying to say the least. Some of us have been through pure hell. But, if you pick yourself up each day and be the best version of you that you can be, you can face anything. It will not be easy, change and growth are not easy. It is uncomfortable to put yourself in a position to fail. Failure is one of my most significant sources of anxiety, but I have learned that I have to put myself in a situation where I may fail in order to grow.

Nobody wants to fail, nobody sets out to fail. But we do it all the time. Failure is not the problem, not picking yourself up when you fall is the problem. Thomas Edison has been quoted, regarding the process of inventing the lightbulb, as saying “I have not failed. I have found 10,000 ways that will not work.” So, I encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and give yourself a chance to grow! Say yes to something that scares you a little. It may be a date, a project at work, a fitness challenge, anything just step out there and give it your best!